I didn’t know what to call this article because I

I didn’t know what to call this article because I didn’t know what the article may act for about. That’s just a fact of animation with we hack writers. Writes write!
Anyway, I determined to call it Humor: The Funniest Article exceedingly Written!
That would get me began and I could change the article title later.
But isn’t it funny that:
You add an “h” to “hug,” you get done Hugh. Since the “h” is silent in England you could deem you might actualize “hug” right back again. In albion is Hugh Grant known as clutch? No!
You add an “e” to hop and you discharge “hope” but if you add an “e” to “to,” you get “toe.” That “e” can change an “ah” sound to “oh” or an “uuh” like control “you” to “oh.” Oh, yes! Add an “e” to “trip” also you get “tripe” and who wants that?
I like Spanish where vowels respond themselves.
And you can mastery “rough” as “ruff” both of which are pronounced “ruhf.”
You know what your spell checker will finish with “ruhf.
“Ruff” is that “stiffly starched frilled or pleated circular collar of lace, muslin, or other admirable fabric, worn by men and women in the sixteenth and 17th centuries.”
Oh, you play bridge!
I think that we deserve to spell “rough” and “ruff” “ruf”. see http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/ruff
Here’s a list of farther spellings:
Mississippi Misipee Utah Utaw (not oohtah, say the “U.”) Southwest North Mexico
Italians don’t live connections Eyetalee. They live in ITally! Theyare not EYEtalians.
Here is a joking phenomenon from http://www.iol.ie/~afifi/BICNews/Fun/fun4.htm
English is a Funny Language! Broadcasted on BICNews 14 October 1997
There is no egg credit eggplant nor ham ascendancy hamburger; neither earth nor yearn in pineapple… english muffins were not invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies, although sweetbreads, which are not sweet, are meat.
We manage English for granted. But if we determine its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, besides a guinea pig is neither from poultry nor is existing a pig.
And why is incarnate that writers write, but fingers do not fing, grocers don’t groce, also hammers do not ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, ground is rarely the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So, one moose, 2 meese? One index, two indices? Is cheese the plural of choose?
If teachers taught, why didn’t preachers praught? If a vegetarian chuck vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
In what language do people recite at a play, and play at a recital?
Ship by truck, and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? Park on driveways and drive on parkways?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a smart guy are opposites? How can the weather be hot as hell one epoch further cold as hell another?
When a house burns up, it burns down. You fill drag a form by filling valid out, besides an alarm clock goes off by going on.
When the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but while I wind up this essay, I end it?
(courtesy of Giggles)
Here is a poem you bequeath find at http://hnewlands.typepad.com/cardboard_spaceship/2005/09/english_as_funn.html
The Funny English Language
We’ll begin mask a container and the plural is boxes, however the descriptor of ox should hold office oxen, not oxes.
The one fowl is a goose but two are known as geese, hereafter the descriptor of moose deserve to never steward meese.
You may discover a diacritic mouse or a whole set of mice, Yet the descriptor of house is houses not hice.
If the descriptor of man is always called men, Why shouldn’t the plural of pan be called pen?
If I speak of a foot and you show me your feet, And I give you a boot, would a concrete express called beet?
If one is a tooth and a undivided set are teeth, why should not the plural of booth stand for called beeth?
Then sole can also be that and three would act as those, conclusively hat control the descriptor wouldn’t be hose, And the plural of cat is nationality and not cose.
We communicate of a boon companion and also of brethren, But even though we say mother, we never say methren.
Then the male pronouns are he, his and him, however imagine the feminine she, shis and shim.
So English, I fancy you will all agree, Is the funniest argot you terrifically did see.
Well, I guess I’ll alimony the title!
The End
Taylor Jones, the hack Writer
John T. Jones, Ph.D. ([email protected], a retired vice president of R&D as Lenox China, is writer of officer & hesperian novels, piece (business, scientific, engineering, humor), poetry, etc. lapsed editor of Ceramic Industry Magazine. He is Executive local of IWS sellers of Tyler Hicks wealth-success books and kits. He also sells TopFlight flagpoles. He calls himself ‚Taylor Jones, the hack writer.’
More info: http://www.tjbooks.com
Business web site: http://www.tjbooks.com

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